If by best you mean worst, and by worst you mean best.
I’m talking about Shaq’s Big Challenge which debuted on ABC Tuesday night. Everything about it makes me excited. The premise of the show is that Shaq, in a reality TV program aptly described by Russell as “Bernie Mac meets The Biggest Loser meets Nanny911,” will take 6 obese children and turn them into the picture of health in only 6 months time.
Shaq vs. Childhood Obesity. Bring it.
The show might sound like it’s about fat kids, but it’s actually about Shaq himself. It is about Shaq coming up with the idea of the show, about Shaq defying those who say it will be difficult, and about Shaq finally coming to terms with the fact that the experts were right – 6 morbidly obese teens aren’t going to suddenly whip themselves into shape just because Shaq says he believes in them. Although, think of all of the things you could accomplish if only Shaq believed in you…
The focus on Shaq is difficult to buy and difficult to watch. The editing makes it seem like the show is spontaneous, with Shaq running around trying to save a few kids and finding people to help him along the way. As if ABC would commission a show and go blindly into this thing with proper medical tests and waivers, let alone casting. And let’s just admit that Shaq’s not much of an actor, though in this show he gets to test his skills as a hard hitting journalist.
Shaq as the love child of Dr. Phil and Barbara Walters.
In the beginning of the show, with no explanation of how the kids were chosen, Shaq just shows up and their homes and interviews them about their lives, their habits and why they want to change. He lets no one off the hook as he delves into their worlds. He digs deep and gets to the really hard hitting questions:
*Shaq: Do the other kids call you names?
Kid: Yeah. Fat.
Shaq: Fat what?
Kid: Fat.
Shaq: Fatso?
Kid: Fat.
Shaq: Fat…?
Kid: Just fat.
Oh gosh, someone called the fat kid fat! What would we do without you Shaq?
Couple this with Shaq’s mumblings and a few racist (or at least mildly offensive) comments and that’s the show. The kids are nice illustrations as we sympathize with Shaq and watch him come to terms with the childhood obesity epidemic.
Busy on Tuesdays, please don’t call.
Ultimately, the show left me thinking “If this is what they’ve edited in, how terrible must the stuff be that they’ve edited out?” It’s awful and I AM HOOKED. I cannot wait to tune in next week for more answers to the questions:
Did Shaq really just say that?
Did Shaq really just do that?
Can ABC put that on television?
Thank you, Shaq, for caring so much.
*I don't have a transcript, but the exchange really went
something like that.
