girlie men aplenty

Every once in a while the universe likes to play tricks on me. Usually, it involves strange coincidences that prove to be humiliating, although sometimes it’s more humorous than traumatic. One day last week I was witness to one of these more humorous coincidences.

During the trip home from work each day I am usually passed by a number of other (faster) cyclists and pedestrians. On this one particularly day I was on foot and not paying much attention to anything when I heard a cyclist approaching from behind. Like all good path users he called out “Passing on your left,” to let me know to get out of the way. I made note of his particularly masculine voice and I watched as he passed, expecting to see a manly man ride by. Instead, and I had to do a double take here, it was the most petite woman I had ever seen. Or so I thought. Only his tremendous calf muscles were able to convince me that this was indeed a man. He rode on and I laughed to myself at the contradiction.

I kept walking a bit further uninterrupted and eventually heard another male voice alert me to his passing. Again, I was expecting a manly man, and was completely shocked when in my first glimpse I caught sight of his very pink, very feminine riding wear. Then, having had just enough time to think to myself how weird it was to have these two effeminate men pass me on the same short stretch of pavement, I looked up to see a tall, lanky man running towards me on the path. “Thank god,” I thought to myself. “An actual man who looks and dresses as he should.”

And no sooner did that thought go through my mind than he turned his head to the side, exposing the longest, grayest ponytail I have ever seen on a man.

Beware the girlie men. They’re everywhere.